Conquering Colossus Wall: Ride the Wild Surf on a Steep Slate Face
We decided to go to the area called Colossus Wall, a 50-metre- high sheer face, an unusually steep wall for slate. It’s south-facing and it’s exposed to the weather, meaning that although it gets the sun when it’s out, the Welsh rain that falls all year round is usually seeping out of the wall somewhere, making the already slippery slate even trickier. Spillett was raring to go and wanted to do a route called Ride the Wild Surf, which is an E4 – testing but nothing drastic. I decided I’d do an easy E1 or E2 warm-up route called Bella Lugosi is Dead with Carolyn, but it didn’t go well from the start. I wasn’t feeling the movement; instead, I was feeling awkward and clunky.
I don’t regret anything, but I look back on it now and I kick myself. I should have cooled it. I should have been sensible, weighed up the situation, said to myself, ‘I’m off to Pakistan next week: I don’t need this.’ But I was young, I had a rabid competitive spirit and at that time I would pick up any gauntlet. Spillett, geared up and launched up Ride the Wild Surf quickly, which upped the ante for the day. Nearby there was an E5 route called Major Head Stress: aptly named, in retrospect.
We were looking it over when a couple of climbing friends, Chris Barnes and a guy everyone knew as Mad Max, appeared. I quizzed them about the climb. They said it had some very widely spaced expansion bolts in it, so it was not super hard, but quite bold, which is my forte. So that was it. I decided I was going to do Major Head Stress. I was going to do it – or rather we were going to do it, myself and Carolyn – and that was that. I had made up my mind and when that’s done I’m immovable. Get this done. Bragging rights for later, and then straight back to the café for a mug of tea.
I sat down and pulled on my boots: Boreal Lasers. All these years later I still think they were my favourite boots – I loved them. I racked up with the equipment I thought I’d need. I wouldn’t need a lot with the bolts in.
An E5 is a hard route for me; at least, it was at that time. But the start was really pretty easy. I was at around 13 feet high, nothing much in the scheme of things, and there was a very obvious crack in front of me. Above, at maybe 30 feet, was the first bolt winking at me, egging me on; just one or maybe two tricky little moves and then I’d be on an easy-looking ramp line, stretching up to the bolt. I tried to get to the slight broken ramp, teetering on small holds with my feet. Carolyn was belaying below me, holding the ropes. I grabbed the big nuts, which always sit on the right-hand side of my harness, looking at the crack to assess the size. I grabbed the nut, the one I thought was the right size, and offered it up to the crack. It was too big.
What I should have done then was swap the nut for the slightly smaller size nut. I distinctly remember thinking, ‘I’ll just swap it for a smaller one.’ But then the confidence demon on my shoulder whispered, ‘You don’t need it; just two moves and you’re on the broken ramp and it’s easy up to the bolt.’ I put the wires back on the harness and, committed, made one move. I reached up and pulled on the hold above. I was just making the move… And then I was airborne.
It was so slow. I was maybe 12 to 14 feet up, no higher, but it seemed to take for ever to hit the ground. On the way down I was just thinking, ‘This is going to hurt.’ I had no idea.
There was an explosion of pain as my heels hit the rocky ground. Nineteen years later it still hurts.
